Monday, September 6, 2010

This was posted by a friend on Facebook:

My mom has made me laugh... wiped my tears... hugged me tight... watched me succeed... seen me fail... cheered me on and kept me strong! Moms are a promise from God that you will have a friend forever!!!! Put this on your status if you love your mom, whether she's here with you or in heaven. ♥

This is how I feel about that:

Not all moms are promises nor friends.

My mom resented my presence and that caused me to doubt my worth. She rarely, if ever, smiled at me, taught me to cry and to punish myself. I can't recall ever getting a hug from her (seriously). She criticized me whether I "succeeded" or failed and almost always made me regret ever sharing my thoughts or feelings with her.

Despite all this (and SOooo much more), I loved her. I've had to look past all this and see that I wasn't the reason for how she behaved toward me. It was her crap. Nonetheless, it still hurt and deeply affected me. A lifetime of undoing the twisted-ness.

I'm very happy for every person in the world who did/does have a loving and caring mom. And I have to admit that even tho my mom, by her own definition "wasn't demonstrative" of her love for me, I also knew that she actually did love and care. But it was a far cry from nurturing or supportive.

God bless all the moms who can show their love and support in a kind and nurturing way. And God, please bless those who can't/couldn't. ♥

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